Hey-man Magazine

The stuff men are made of

Tag Archives: date

The best idea for a first date…

…carried out by a pansy!

So you’ve finally got a date with the girl you have been pathetically obsessing over for that last few years, good for you! You are glad to be taking her around town, out to dinner, and ending it all with seeing A Perfect Circle in concert. What can possibly go wrong with such a wonderful evening? I am sure everything leading up to the concert was just lovely, but how could the concert ruin things so easily? You are a nothing but a little bitch with a girl more masculine than you are at a metal concert. I see disaster in your future.

You arrive at the venue, make your way through the crowd until you settle on a good spot, and look over at her with a smile on your face to see her smiling right back at you. So far so good. You are enjoying the set list of a band that you both call favorite and life seems good. Out of nowhere some douche bag gets in her way and wont move after she repeatedly tells him that she cannot see the stage. He replies with a snide remark and now its on, an all out screaming match between this small girl and some huge guy at a concert. Next thing you know this silly asshole is in your face telling you to keep your bitch on a leash before she causes trouble. Now we already know that you are a pussy but will you take this opportunity to redeem yourself? Hell no! Rather than taking a breath and growing a pair of balls you just look back and say “Sorry she is not with me.” What the fuck happened to this world? “Not with me” is the route you decided to take?

Please do not misunderstand why I am calling you a bitch. You did not have to fight this guy to be a man but surely you could have diffused the situation without losing whatever dignity you had. To make matters worse your “date” now takes charge of the situation and says something so clever, so obscene, and so aggressive that the dickhead who caused this whole mess walks away head down. Its amazing isnt it, although do not for a minute forget the part where no one else is as immasculated as he is except for yourself. If you are out with a girl and she decides to call another guy and complain about how pathetic you are then its already game over. Not only were you already beat, but you just had to dig the hole deeper by telling her that your fists hurt from you clenching them in anger, didnt you? She fought the battle for you dude, too late to try and act tough.Good luck getting that second date.

Readers, unless you want to be alone or at the most be with someone with balls infinitely larger than yours, please do not follow this guys example.